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Monday, February 5, 2018

Two Things to Stop Saying to Parents of Elementary-Age Twins

There are a lot of amazing posts that have already been written about annoying things people say to mothers of twin babies and toddlers- that is definitely the toughest stage in terms of stranger comments because you're so much more conspicuous with a double stroller and a giant bag full of enough supplies to keep multiple infants alive long enough to buy some groceries. But as my girls have gotten older, I've found that the comments and questions I get over and over again have changed. Here are the things I hear all the time that I wish people would stop saying.

First of all yes, this is a bit of a rant/vent, but I want to say that do not really fault people for saying these things. We all have things to learn about other people's perspectives, and if you don't know what it's like to raise multiples it's hard to know that these things would be negative in any way. Just take this as a PSA- now you know! 😉

1. Which one is older?

This is by far the most common thing people say to me, and frankly I don't understand the point. I just told you they're twins. That means they're the same age. Are you wanting to hear my birth story? What's worse is when people ask my daughters who is older. Trust me: in no way is it helpful to add any competitive element to the twin dynamic.

2. Who's the ____ one?

This is one that I hear more and more as the girls get older, and I can see what people are getting at. I appreciate that people want to get to know the girls as individuals, but that's not the way to ask it- again, it's never a good idea to compare or add competition to twins. They do enough of that on their own without help from outsiders. Plus at this age, I wouldn't want to label any child as "the athletic one" or "the artsy one"- they're still exploring who they are and what their interests are! A better question that will get you the same information: "What is ____ into right now?"

Have you ever said either of these to parents of multiples? If you're a parent of multiples yourself, what are the things people say to you that bother you the most? I hope this gives everyone a chance to learn more about how to relate to each other!

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